I Need a Chick

  I need a chick
Or I'll be sick.
I need a girl
Or I will hurl,
I need some pleasin'
For medical reasons,
I need a skirt
Or I'll get hurt,
I need a doll
Or I'm terminal,
I need some lovin'
Or my gut will be shovin',
I'll be gettin' diarhea
If I don't "Meet a Girl Named Maria",
I need to get myself a blonde
Or I'll do the technicolor yawn,
I need a brunette
Or I'll be spewin' it,
I need a redhead
Or I will be dead,
I need someone loyal
Or I'll be shuffling off this mortal coil,
I need a fox
Or I'll suffer a pox,
I need a babe
Or I'll be in my grave,
I need a female
Or I'll be in Hell,
I need a long-haired wonder
Or I'll be six feet under.
In short, I'm lonely.